Writing today on one word for five minutes:
Confession: the first part of this poem was written April 13, 2003, a year after our 21 year old daughter died. My pain was raw; I wondered if it would ever end. I patterned the poem after Langston Hughes’ poem, “What happens to a dream deferred?”
What happens to a grief deferred?
Does it bubble up inside
when memories wash over me?
Or feel like a hard scab to be forgotten
until the wound is exposed and screams with pain?
When does the pain ease?
Will spring always bring fresh memories of
the days we buried her?
Is it easier to defer this grief,
Or does it make it worse?
Some days I feel
held together with fine cotton thread
that could break at any moment.
No longer held together with fine thread,
the pieces of my broken heart were kept safe,
and then put back in place,
one at a time,
held together with glue.
Glue from God’s words
“Their hearts are steady because they trust the Lord” Isaiah 112:7
“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted . ..” Isaiah 61:1
His promises to walk with me through the dark valley,
Promises to be with me and watch over me.
Verse by verse, layer upon layer
Glue to build up a broken heart
make it stronger.
The pain has eased,
Not gone, and not forgotten.
but April’s blooms remind me of the joy,
the imprint her life left on so many.
Thank you God for your healing power, the gift of Jennifer, and 21 years with her.