OPEN

Five-Minute-Friday.1Joining the Five Minute Friday community of bloggers today with a one word prompt. With a one word prompt we write for five minutes, unedited.

We’re finishing a week of snow and ice in Nashville. Many roads are still covered in ice and temperatures have not crept above the twenties all week. This evening we had more snow and freezing rain.Iced branchesBirdhouses

BackyardCold weather like this makes me want to stay closed up in a warm house with homemade soup, steamy cornbread, and a good book. I’ll admit to being quite content this week to stay inside.

There is comfort in staying home. I ran a few errands but was happy to return to the cocoon. I’ve practice drawing, did some water color painting, finished a sewing project for Healing Hands, put together the first big block of a crocheted baby blanket, and watched too much TV.

I’m reminded of those weeks and months after Jennifer died. I wanted to stay home – even in the summer. It felt safe; my heart was protected.

Then I learned how to guard my heart, to keep it closed.

Sometimes I would forget and share my story before I was ready. That’s when I opened my heart, became vulnerable. My emotions rolled up into my throat and the cement block pressed on my chest. Those times were exhausting.

But I slowly learned to put my pain in a box that I opened when I was ready to share. The raw edge of my grief eventually softened, and I could talk about Jennifer’s story without that raw pain.

Today I thank God for

  • by His grace I’m able to be open and not swamped in grief. 
  • our daughter’s life and the story we can share with others.

JoyMartell

 

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2 thoughts on “OPEN

  1. Tammy

    Visiting from FMF, I’m just next to you today.
    Thank you, this was so touching! I’m so glad you have opened up and let Him come into those places and have not stayed closed.
    Also, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. The Joy you are using for strength greatly reflects our God and He is using you through your testimony!
    ~Tammy

    Reply

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