First Thoughts on Help (today’s word for Five Minute Friday)

“Modern Mrs. Darcy” blog recommends books to read; since I love to read, I find myself frequently listening to her podcast or going through her lists. This week she has a wonderful list of 25 Books to Read When You Feel Like the World is Falling Apart. Click on the title to find her blog.

Anne Lamott’s book, Stitches: A Handbook On Meaning, Hope and Repair appealed to me first. This little book is packed with those powerful statements that have me reaching for a highlighter, except I’m reading a library book!

This statement grabbed me, so I wrote it down:

We live stitch by stitch; when we’re lucky. If you fixate on the big picture, the whole shebang, the overview, you miss the stitching.

Great grandmother, Miss Ada’s quilt remnant



Joining the Five Minute Friday community with a one word prompt. We write for five minutes (I confess, I’m not so good at the time limit), post it, and then link up over at Kate’s blog.

Begin 5 minute timer

I found another profound quote In Lamott’s book, so appropriate to how many of us feel about our present times:

“The American way is to not need help, but to help. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that I was going to need a lot of help, and for a long time.” (33)

Offering help, thinking of ways to minister to those in need, gathering resources – this is my first response to a disaster.

When Jennifer died, I had to relearn so many things; accepting help was first the only thing I could do. When I stumbled through those first days and weeks of grief, I had to have help; my heart was broken and my mind was in shock.

Months and years went by before I could offer help to the grieving. If I forgot and offered help; my heart would ambush me and break open again in tears, sadness, even depression.


I continue to learn, 14 years after  her death, to help in ways that work for me. Sometimes that looks like sending cards, or cooking a meal, but it might mean a phone call or a visit. Some days I work on the book I’ve been writing on my journey of grief.

Dear Father,

Show us when and how to help others, but teach us how to just “be” with someone as they grief or weep or lament.

I thank You for giving us the blessings we need each day and ask You to shower blessings on our country.  Lord, give us what we need, not what we want. 


If you are curious about our daughter, Jennifer, the story of her death,  and the journey of grief, click here.


2 thoughts on “HELP!

  1. Carly

    I agree, it’s often our instinct to want to help others rather than to receive help, but there are times when we need others’ help. I’m sorry for the grief you have experienced and continue to experience over the death of your daughter. I love your comment that sometimes the best thing we can do is just to “be” with others in their grief.


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